Compassion is the antitoxin of the soul: where there is compassion even the most poisonous impulses remain relatively harmless. Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. Those who are willing to sacrifice essential liberties for a little order, will lose both and deserve neither. The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier. You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. The Eskimo has fifty-two names for snow because it is important to them; there ought to be as many for love. Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life. You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a shp, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. Compassion is the antitoxin of the soul: where there is compassion even the most poisonous impulses remain relatively harmless. The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier. Those who are willing to sacrifice essential liberties for a little order, will lose both and deserve neither. The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. Hope is like a road in the country: there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. The only time you run out of chances is when you stop taking them. What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake. The man who says I told you so is making an excuse for not expressing his position clearly in the first place. Friends are as companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to a happier life. Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. Solitude, if rightly used, becomes not only a privilege but a necessity. Only a superficial soul fears to fraternize with itself. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier. Touch is the most fundamental sense. A baby experiences it, all over, before he is born and long after he learns to use sight, hearing, or taste, and no human ever ceases to need it. Keep your children short on pocket money - but long on hugs. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up. Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? When solving problems, dig at the roots instead of just hacking at the leaves. If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere. When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks. The game of life is not so much in holding a good hand as playing a poor hand well. Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy. Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. It's not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Chocolate is, let's face it, far more reliable than a man. Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that truly gives me pleasure -- hooking up with fat, hairy girls. Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. The only time you run out of chances is when you stop taking them. Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle; rather a great reminder of just how strong true love can be. An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up. Touch is the most fundamental sense. A baby experiences it, all over, before he is born and long after he learns to use sight, hearing, or taste, and no human ever ceases to need it. Keep your children short on pocket money - but long on hugs. The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. Take away love and our earth is a tomb. Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. You can widen your life by yourself, but to deepen it you need a friend. Each encounter that becomes a friendship turns into a lifeline. One can never have too many, only too many to properly take care of. What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks. The game of life is not so much in holding a good hand as playing a poor hand well. You can widen your life by yourself, but to deepen it you need a friend. Each encounter that becomes a friendship turns into a lifeline. One can never have too many, only too many to properly take care of. You can widen your life by yourself, but to deepen it you need a friend. A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. Touch is the most fundamental sense. A baby experiences it, all over, before he is born and long after he learns to use sight, hearing, or taste, and no human ever ceases to need it. Keep your children short on pocket money - but long on hugs. Compassion is the antitoxin of the soul: where there is compassion even the most poisonous impulses remain relatively harmless. Solitude, if rightly used, becomes not only a privilege but a necessity. Only a superficial soul fears to fraternize with itself. Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake. You can widen your life by yourself, but to deepen it you need a friend. Each encounter that becomes a friendship turns into a lifeline. One can never have too many, only too many to properly take care of. A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake. I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it's only a choice of attitude. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. What lies behind us and what lies before us, are only small matters compared to what lies within us. Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up. Who so loves believes the impossible. Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks. Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users? Friends are as companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to a happier life. The man who says I told you so is making an excuse for not expressing his position clearly in the first place. Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years. A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. What lies behind us and what lies before us, are only small matters compared to what lies within us. The Eskimo has fifty-two names for snow because it is important to them; there ought to be as many for love. I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it's only a choice of attitude. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light. What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. Who so loves believes the impossible. Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle; rather a great reminder of just how strong true love can be. Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks. The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. You can widen your life by yourself, but to deepen it you need a friend.