The man who says I told you so is making an excuse for not expressing his position clearly in the first place. Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. Books are the shoes with which we tread the footsteps of great minds. Compassion is the antitoxin of the soul: where there is compassion even the most poisonous impulses remain relatively harmless. Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. Memory is a child walking along a seashore. You never can tell what small pebble it will pick up and store away among its treasured things. Love is the immortal flow of energy that nourishes, extends and preserves. Its eternal goal is life. We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough? Everything has been figured out, except how to live. You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. A witty saying proves nothing. Everything has been figured out, except how to live. I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth. When ideas fail, words come in very handy. C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg. Maybe this world is another planet's Hell. Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe. Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket? Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street. I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right. I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg. He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. Luck is the residue of design. Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. Compassion is the antitoxin of the soul: where there is compassion even the most poisonous impulses remain relatively harmless. The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier. Love is the beauty of the soul. Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there? The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread. A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both. Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.Autumn is the time when seasons merge because of bare necessity. Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life. In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite. Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo. Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you. Not because they are nice, but because you are. All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher. Love takes up where knowledge leaves off. Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it. Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street. Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time. Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves. Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours. Take away love and our earth is a tomb. An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered. A witty saying proves nothing. It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it. It's kind of fun to do the impossible. A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship. Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact. The mistakes are all waiting to be made. The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion. I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves. Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains. The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad. An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid. When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world. Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere. I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right. A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it. In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you. Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. Autumn is the time when seasons merge because of bare necessity. If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. In the end, everything is a gag. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
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